In a book I'm currently reading there is a chapter on letting yourself feel. Especially feeling the "hard stuff". It takes real courage to do that sometimes. To let go and realize what emotions you need to let out isn't easy. For years I would allow things to build up in me until I unloaded them. The price for that was high. I was often taking it out on anyone who was around me. People who didn't deserve it. Everything at the point of breaking would bother me and was magnified. I had this notion that I could keep it in and eventually it would go away. Well, it doesn't and rears its ugly head at the most inopportune times. Those negative emotions start to take over and you start to feel like nothing is good anymore. More than anything it was my lack of trust that kept me from sharing. It was a vulnerable state I refused to let myself into, and when I did I was angry at myself for letting it go so long. It was draining. The hardest part of it all was realizing how often I overlooked the support around me. My wife, my family, my mentors... It wasn't that I didn't trust them, it was this feeling I would let them down if they knew I hurt, felt fear, emotion, depression. A fear they wouldn't believe or trust in me. My thought was I could function enough to stay ahead of the emotions I desperately wanted to let out. That was until it caught up, which it always did. Over the years I've gotten better, but I still digress. I'm learning that servant leadership, having a servant heart, wanting to help others begins when we let the guard down long enough to allow others to do the same. Keeping those feelings in, giving that false sense of harmony, and pretending nothing bothers you actually doesn't allow you to ever have real relationships. Relationships where there is no judgment, only comfort, clarity, honesty, love. It's easier said than done, but as I've said often, I am a work in progress. We all should be. I share with you only to say that it's ok to feel, and in doing so you allow the door to swing both ways where maybe somebody has been waiting for it so they know they can too.
Believe In The Unbelievable that is YOU and my prayer for you today is that you have strength to share what you must. That if you are lost you let God find you. Let Him lead you where you want to be, and allow yourself to see those people in your life that want nothing more than to be there for you and with you.
Have a blessed, safe, and healthy day everyone.
DC
"All things are possible if you believe." Mark 9:23
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